Love was always a nice concept, but one I dared not dwell on too often except in regards to my relationship with my heavenly Father. Love God—that was my focus for my single years and will continue to be my focus for the rest of my life because when you “seek first the kingdom of God, all these things will be added unto you.” (See Matthew 6:33.)
The last ten years of my life have been dedicated to ministry, schooling, family, and service in various capacities as the Lord has given so many wonderful and glorious opportunities to learn and give. All through my life, a common thread of lessons have involved obedience to my heavenly Father through my earthly father no matter the cost; this happened when I wanted to get into medical school and my father had a caution so I ended up taking my Home Health degree through correspondence (which was the best training I could have ever received!); then it happened again when I was going to serve in a ministry and ended up having a horseback riding accident in ’06 and my father asked me to fly back home; it occurred when Dad gave his blessing for me to serve with a ministry in Chicago (during which time I met Robert :)); and again in 2010, which is where the story begins.
2010 – a great year to begin afresh (isn’t every year?), plan goals, and set an active schedule to complete them. Being raised in a family where planning was taught and promoted, I relished my goal setting and schedule planning and had everything in order. However, in mid-January, Dad and Mama received a call from the International ALERT Academy, asking if I would be interested in serving as a counselor for the other young ladies on campus. Much to my astonishment, Mama and Dad were in favor of the opportunity. I went to the Lord in prayer and He confirmed that this was His direction. Really? Me? Where was the medical field I’ve dreamed about since I was a child?
With new resolve and the knowledge that this new adventure was a result of the Lord’s leading, I flew down to ALERT to begin getting to know then other girls on campus and ministering alongside them in the kitchen and around campus. I sat back in amazement for the following year as I saw the Lord do the impossible and create such blessing despite my apparent lack of skill. During one of my quiet times of attempting to convince Him otherwise about this new phase in life, He told me that I have been so comfortable in the medical field that He needed to put me in a place where I was not confident so that I could see anew that any good that came was because of Him.
During this year, I began thinking about single service. Since no young man had approached Dad about me in the last ten years, a single life became more of a reality to me. Just at that point of struggling between single service and desires for marriage, a Godly man came to Dad in late June. Two weeks later, Robert approached Dad at my brother’s wedding on July 11th, and then a week later, a third guy spoke to Dad . . . and I knew nothing. Dad began working with the three and after a couple months brought me into the circle so I could begin praying, too. I was floored that even one of these men came forward, let alone three Godly men with impeccable reputations and hearts on fire for the Lord. I remember the night that Dad shared about the three and I sat back with sudden weakness, very, VERY grateful for the knowledge that I didn’t need to choose between them. The Lord had my husband chosen before the foundation of the world and I simply needed to let Him reveal the one to my parents and I. But unfortunately, I had not yet learned well enough to sit back and listen to my heavenly Father lead through my earthly father.
Through months of prayer and struggling to stay under my father’s protection and guidance, the Lord showed that Robert was the one He ordained and thus began our courtship on November 22, 2010. Due to struggles of keeping my heart guarded and trying to stay under my Dad and where he was leading, I was emotionally drained from my lack of faith and trying to take matters into my own hands, even daring to question my heavenly Father’s direction and giving up when times got tough. Therefore, I was tired and wasn’t quite ready to talk to Robert that first night when he phoned. But despite my tiredness, emotional drain, and slight disinterest, Robert patiently won my heart . . . by letting me go. He never pushed, never insisted, never demanded, but phoned regularly, listened as I talked, shared from the wisdom and experience in his life, and covered me in prayer. Before too long, I was in love and wondering how the Lord brought such a man into a life that was so undeserving.
During my times of crying out to the Lord as to whether Robert was the one, the Lord gave me Proverbs 8:30: “Then I was by him…”. No, Lord, I argued. That’s talking about wisdom. The Lord gently chided, “Didn’t you just ask Me for a confirmation? Don’t question the confirmation when it comes.” I was brought to my knees that the Creator of the universe cared enough for my love life that He was willing to build a beautiful story of us beginning our lives together, having my father’s approval, and then having personal confirmation from the Lord that Robert was indeed the one for me without a shadow of a doubt. And on this truth I rested and grew to love and respect Robert like I have no other person. Five weeks after we began courting, Robert asked me to marry him December 30th and I said yes!
Waiting for the Lord’s timing and His chosen person was worth the wait and I bask in the goodness of my Father. Once again, I have learned to trust and obey because there is no other way to be happy in Jesus. It was the training for the last 27 years of my life of obeying and submitting to my father, becoming more and more like my Proverbs 31 mother, learning from my siblings and making Aleita, Kerzdenn, and Jevenn my best friends, and moving out of my comfort zone so that I could see the power of God do the impossible both through the kitchen and my own life. After all these years of waiting . . . my time has come to fall in love with the most incredible man on earth. God is good and His mercy is never failing. Great is His faithfulness!